Coming out as a different gender identity can be a daunting task, especially in the work environment. You have to battle people's preconceived notions about you and your gender and re-write in people's minds who you are and how you identify. I decided to take the step to come out as nonbinary at work because I wanted to be able to show up to work and be my authentic self. It felt tiring to me to use and hear my incorrect pronouns over and over in meetings, emails and other forms of dialogue. 

Once I decided to come out as nonbinary at Avanade, I started small. The first person I came out to was my career adviser, because we have a close relationship and I knew she was capable of accepting and supporting who I am. I slowly worked my way up to "the big one": coming out to my broader team. This was an email message that I sent to everyone in my region who I work with (Avanade South XD). These were people who knew me previously as a woman and had only known me that way.

Avanade's movement for pronoun inclusion in things like email signatures, Teams messages and introductions gave me the push I needed to be able to send an email message to my colleagues. During this time, Avanade launched a "Check to Respect" call that went out to the entire company, which encouraged employees to check for their colleagues’ pronouns on platforms like Teams. The push Avanade made with that campaign – to showcase different gender identities and sharing pronouns as a routine process – made me feel like it was possible to share my own.

A few days after the campaign went live, I carefully crafted the following email:

Hi everyone!

I’m sure you’ve seen some of the push Avanade has been making around pronouns and the “check to respect” motto. After a long time of being afraid to share with you all, it is my great pleasure that I feel comfortable enough to do so now. 

My pronouns are they/them. I know many of you know me as she/her, and this will be a change for you, and I am totally accepting it will take some time to get it right. I may butt into your conversation to correct you, but it is never malicious. Likewise, as long as you never use my old pronouns in a malicious way, I will be more than understanding. 

I’m happy to be part of a company that supports the expression of who I am, and I hope you all are able to make this change for me. It is more than appreciated – it makes my day brighter every time someone uses my correct pronouns. 

Best,

Rachel

They/Them

To my delight, I received more responses back than I could count praising me, and my courage to come out. 

Since this email was sent last July, I have proudly been able to live as a nonbinary person at work. My pronouns are respected by my past teammates and new ones that I have met since the email. Although I knew for myself that this was the right decision, I was only able to do it because I knew Avanade would support me. I'm happy to say that Avanade is a very inclusive workplace that not only allows me to be me, but even celebrates it.

I hope you too are able to show up to work without feeling like you have to hide something or live a double life. Inclusive workplaces like Avanade are out there, ready to accept you if and when you have your own coming out journey. Happy Pride Month.